On The Allure Of Older Women

Many people find it curious, if not a little bizarre, for a man to be attracted to older women.  Not long ago I saw part of a television program in which men in their twenties and thirties dated women a generation or more older.  One of these men met with his older date in a diner that featured several younger women his own age nearby, and who expressed open hostility to their relationship.  "Why is he dating someone older when there are so many wonderful, beautiful young women (i.e., herself) around?" one of them wailed.  As a man who also finds older women alluring, let me offer some insight.

• Young women tend to be needy and neurotic.  Older women tend to be independent and self-assured, so they don't flip out if you say the wrong thing or don't supply them with constant affirmation -- they can just chill out, be themselves, and let you be yourself.

• Young women tend not to see a man as human, but rather as a tool for them to achieve social status or wealth.  Back in law school I dated a young woman who gave up the ghost when explaining why women compete for certain men, admitting that "it's never about the man."  No, it's about the woman and her standing in the eyes of other women; a man who fails to enhance the young woman's standing is disposable because what he is matters more than who he is.  An older woman, however, already has achieved status and doesn't need to get it from a man, so she is more capable of seeing a man as a who than a what, treating him with real affection. 

• Young women tend to be shallow, which is partially a function of youth but also a function of modern child rearing.  An older woman has life experience, perspective, was probably raised with values, and can carry on an intelligent conversation.  An older woman also does not crave constant novelty or entertainment; enjoying one another's company is enough.

• Older women tend not to play head games or -- pardon the expression -- to shit test.  Shit testing is linked to young women's neuroticism, and a man who fails to respond properly to the test is deemed deficient.  I'm at a comfortable stage of life where if a woman shit tests me, I just walk away and find another one.  Older women, being self-assured, have no need for these childish games.

• Older women appreciate kindness and respond to it with affection.  Young women misinterpret kindness as weakness and respond to it with scorn, which is sick.  

• Older women are more experienced, take their time, and know better how to please a man.  

• In the dark, they're all the same.  Physical differences are a wash.

You might accuse me of being unfair and painting with broad strokes, but it so happens that I'm dating a young woman who thankfully lacks many of the traits of her generation.