How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Economic Meltdown

I used to worry about a lot of things, but recently I came to understand there is no need to worry because everything balances out.  Take the economic meltdown, which has everyone scrambling to find if there are any laws or principles left to destroy in order to prop up the almighty GDP.  My old self would argue with people in a vain attempt to explain the utter ineffectiveness and depravity of what they are doing.  The new me, however, sits back and laughs because I see silver linings in these gathering clouds.  (Besides, as a firm believer in the acronym MPAI, I see no point in arguing with most people anyway.) 

• As the economy continues imploding and the central banks keep counterfeiting money to stave it off, one of two things will happen:  hyperinflation, or massive deflation.  If the former occurs, none of the Soviet-style caps on interest rates will hold, and I'll rake in higher returns on my savings.  If the latter occurs, I'll snap up assets at bargain-basement prices.  It's a win-win.

• The "best and the brightest" with their Ivy-league pedigrees, their governmental and academic sinecures, and their sick Keynesian delusions will be shown as utterly wrong about everything they've been spouting for the past three generations.  They are the ones defining and setting public policy; "extremists" like me who quote the Constitution and the Founding Fathers are not allowed a seat at the table, so when the walls come tumbling down, our hands will be absolutely clean.  (I'm sure, however, that the powers-that-be will still try to blame the collapse on the few remnants of morality and sanity.)

• Bankrupt governments will have far less means with which to pervert society, and the virtues that stem from personal responsibility will flourish once again.  People will have to exercise frugality to plan for their retirements and to take care of their own relatives; the young will have to revere and respect the old; spouses cannot be blithely jettisoned and replaced with food stamps or welfare checks; "free" birth control and healthcare will have to be replaced with modesty and caution; education in general will have to be passed down within the family and from generation to generation, not dictated by a government commissar according to the latest ideological fad; and charity will be real once again, for it will have to come voluntarily from the givers, not artificially engineered and mandated by the takers.

• If people are too broke to buy gadgets, take vacations, or generally chase after novel or decadent experiences, they are more likely to remember that happiness comes from within.

• On a related note, if Hollywood takes a major hit and can't churn out its cultural rot on a regular basis, people will be better equipped to base their opinions on their interactions with each other on reality, not on leftist fantasies.

• Environmentalists will have to STFU because when people are poor or hungry, they're not in the mood to hear that their needs are less important than a snail's, or how they are interfering with the planet's supposed harmony.

• If the federal government defaults on the debt, it will be very difficult if not impossible to attract lenders in the future, so government spending (and activity) will be mercifully curtailed even further.

• Responsible people will once again be respected, not ridiculed.  The irresponsible, brash, profligate, and sleazy will not seem very cute or entertaining anymore.