WHAMs Are So Powerful That Even Their Singing Might Snatch Your Rights Away

There has been much gnashing of teeth and beating of breasts over a racially insensitive song sung by the University of Oklahoma chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon. It was understandable and fully within the national organization's rights to take action to remedy this embarrassing episode. But that wasn't enough, oh no. White heterosexual able-bodied males (WHAMs) are never allowed any slip-ups or moments of insensitivity, especially when they belong to an organization with roots in the War for Southern Independence. The university has banned the fraternity, and the matter has sparked another dialogue monologue on how we are all supposed to feel about race.

As a WHAM, I am amazed at how much power I have, especially considering that I've never sought it. I concur with Ayn Rand that people who seek power are "second-handers"; aware of their deep deficiencies, they crave power as the only method for feeling good about themselves. Yet I and other WHAMs can supposedly oppress women and minorities with a mere utterance. An incredible amount of fear and resentment must lurk beneath this hypersensitivity. It's not enough that a minority occupies the Oval Office or that the entire weight of modern government is poised to crash down on any WHAM who looks sideways at a woman or a minority. The mere fact that WHAMs can speak or (decreasingly) congregate in private poses a threat to the entire house of cards.

Good. The house of cards needs to fall because it is immoral and unconstitutional. If my words or the words of any WHAM have some special ability to accomplish this, let us make the most of it. And for the record, the goal is not to oppress anyone. Quite the opposite, the goal is to restore liberty, responsibility, and the rule of law. You have no "right" to commandeer government machinery to force people to act as you wish. If the prospect of losing such "rights" frightens or vexes you, that reflects poorly on you rather than me.